- 1 Section 1: Mission Statement And My Story
- 2 Section 2: How To Use This Guide
- 3 Chapter 3: Inner Game and Attractive Behaviors
- 4 Section 4: Curb Appeal
- 5 Section 5: Open (Starting A Conversation) + Transitioning (Turning An Initial Approach Into A Normal Conversation)
- 6 Section 6: Conversation + Storytelling
- 7 Section 7: Attraction + Comfort
- 8 Section 8: Creating Physical Sexual Tension
- 9 Section 9: Closing
- 10 Section 10: Follow Up
Section 1: Mission Statement And My Story
This guide has one mission: To teach you how to attract women. To help you get the girl.
By the end of the guide you are going to know exactly what you need to do to attract the quantity and quality of women you have in your life whenever you please.
I say that with confidence because I remember where I came from. Shy, awkward, loner kid in high school to a man people call “a natural” with women wherever he goes.
How does that happen?
By acquiring a new set of beliefs and skills that I simply didn’t have before. Here’s the truth: If you cannot get women right now, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you.
There is only something wrong with the method that you are using to try. However, by learning the correct method anybody can get the girls they want. It has nothing to do with looks, money, nationality, or whatever. It just has to do with your “get the girl” skillset.
The good news is that you can learn it. Whether you are an absolute beginner or someone who has studied pickup before but haven’t had much success yet, you can get good with women! I am a firm believer that anybody can become good with women, if they wanted to badly enough. I did. And that’s why I got good.
Fortunately to you, I am on a, do or die, rampage to give you the skills necessary to get the girl each and every time and control this area of your life once and for all.
I’ll be your coach if you allow me for little bit and I’ll be sure to see you to success. Have faith. We got work to do. Let’s go.
Disclaimer: What I teach in this book has worked for countless people. If you take action and apply what you learned, you are very likely to achieve similar results. However, results will vary, and I am not claiming you should use this information as a substitute for help from a licensed professional.
My Story – From Extremely Shy And Awkward Loner To “Natural”
My name is Vance Lau. I was born in a traditional, conservative household with strict parents. Not saying that every conservative household is like this, but I was not taught how to operate socially and spent most of my young life in arts and studies. As a result, I was extremely shy as a kid and into my teenage life.
Being a skinny, short kid, and growing up in a town where it seemed like everyone hit their growth spurt early, I was bullied by the other kids and called all sorts of nasty things. This along with the fact that I was a complete loner had a big hit on my confidence growing up and affected relationships with girls later on.
As I entered my high school years, I started developing feelings for girls and I desperately wanted to get a girlfriend. Actually to be honest, I just wanted to know how to connect with people in general!
Sure I wanted a girl but even before that I just wanted to have a solid group of friends. I don’t know if you’ve ever been there, but being lonely sucks.
I remember distinctly a moment in class where I was sitting and sketching away (drawing). I remember lifting my head and looking about me, seeing the interactions going on. I felt left out. I felt sad.
It was around that time when I told myself that I would figure out this whole “social” game no matter what.
So I began searching for answers. The web had just begun maturing then, so I found my first break on the web, when I discovered an underground community of pickup artists who shared tips and techniques on social game and pickup. I read anything I could get my hands on and started applying virtually all aspects to my social interactions. I studied everything. From how to make people laugh, to how to kiss a girl, to dressing to convey a certain message, to developing confidence, the list goes on.
I lived and breathed “social” interactions. The work paid off because I began seeing results. I began having confidence in my abilities to connect with people. Then I began having a strong grasp on how to attract girls.
Fast forward to today. I am truly appreciative of how far I have come. Sometimes I can’t even believe it. How did I go from the lonely kid that couldn’t even make friends to being “the man” who people refer to as a “natural” with women.
I’m not saying this to impress you, I’m saying all this to impress upon you that you can really do it. You can really become not only amazing with women but also with people in general.
Make no mistake about it. Being socially savvy and having the ability to attract women is a skillset. There’s no arguing about it! Nobody is born “good” with women. They only seem like “naturals” because they have internalized what they need to do in order to attract women as they were growing up.
People call me a “natural” today, but I can bet your ass they couldn’t have predicted that if they saw me when I was just a shy, depressed kid trying to figure all this “social” stuff out.
Look bottom line is: You can do it. I want to share all I know about this subject so you can be successful.
Please email me your ideas, comments, and complaints by clicking here! I would love to hear your feedback.
Section 2: How To Use This Guide
How To Learn
Before we jump into the actual guide, I want to give you a general framework on how you should be using this guide to get the fastest results possible. This way we can blast away any preconceptions and separate the serious learners from the ones looking for the magic bullet and/or pixie dust.
The Law of Process
Taken from leadership expert John C. Maxwell in his book, “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership”, the law of process states:
“success is a process, not an event”
Everybody has different processes. Some people progress quicker and others, a little bit slower. It is crucial to understand that, so you are not always chasing the overnight change, comparing yourself to the guy sitting next to you, or self-sabotaging your own success. It will happen for you, but learn to enjoy your process.
Your journey to success with women will not always be the smoothest ride, but it will definitely be the most fun you’ve ever had. Piecing the puzzle together and reaping the rewards along the way. Remember, it’s called ‘game’ for a reason. Treat it as one and enjoy the journey.
The Slight Edge
Building off ‘the law of process’ is the concept of the Slight Edge, a concept taken from Jeff Olsen’s book, “The Slight Edge”. (I recommend picking up this book and/or audiobook to drive the concept home)
Simply put, the Slight Edge basically talks about how everything in the universe is in constant motion. Getting better or getting worse, but nonetheless changing.
There is no such thing as a straight line and every decision you make in every waking moment, will bring you either up or down the slight edge or in other words toward your goals or away from them.
Understanding this will further kill the notion that there is one fix, one line, one technique that will make women fall head over heels for you. There is not and never will be.
It is the little, seemingly insignificant actions that you take everyday to improve your game and your ‘being’ (a concept we will talk about later) that will ultimately determine your success with women.
Do you go and talk to her or do you chicken out? “Well one approach doesn’t matter”, you say. It may seem that way, but over time the truth will come out.
Time with either promote you or expose you. You can read all the dating books out there, but if you don’t take the little tiny steps towards success each day, you will never be good.
Entering New Territory And Becoming A Sponge
Last snippet on this subject of learning. A lot of the things I teach in this book are not going to make sense to you. But someone very successful once told me that “sometimes things won’t make sense when you’re going someplace you’ve never gone.”
There is a lot of information in this book that might be in new territory for you. Some will seem completely counter intuitive, crazy, and outright offensive. I challenge you to suspend your disbelief. Become a sponge. Don’t judge or question, but absorb everything. Then apply everything for yourself. Use what works for you and discard everything else. I won’t be offended.
Chapter 3: Inner Game and Attractive Behaviors
Inner Game – your internal confidence and beliefs when it comes to attracting women
I know that you are itching to skip this part and head straight to the lines and attraction techniques in the later sections.
You can, but I urge you not to. This section is too important. The lines are good, but without the right framework they won’t be as effective.
In fact, if you go by lines and routines alone, you are going to be exposed. What will happen is you will start an interaction off really strong and the girl will think you’re really charming or whatever, but she will either find that you are not congruent with your words or realize you don’t have much depth.
Creating a deep sense of connection comes from really being curious about a girl, her likes and dislikes and her perspective of the world not just about using scripted lines or techniques.
It took me a long time to understand this. I was all about the lines and the teasing techniques and the routines when I started learning the game. Although I got some results with them, ultimately I couldn’t get great results.
The reason is because women have incredibly strong intuition. They can pick up on very subtle cues and test you to see if you are actually congruent with what you say. As soon as I stopped chasing the “what to say” stuff so much and focused on changing my behavior, my results skyrocketed.
The reason is because I became congruent. I wasn’t covering up my insecurity inside by using lines, but I was actually attractive in my being. The “confident” remarks I made on the outside matched my actual behaviors.
This is the essence of my approach to getting women. Being instead of simply doing. If you are an attractive person, you will do attractive things.
Success with women is something we attract, it’s not something we pursue. And in order to attract something we must first be attractive ourselves.
So How Do You Become Attractive?
We do so by studying the behavior of attractive people. Celebrities, movie stars, professional athletes, directors, professional speakers, etc. When I was first studying the game, I literally sat at my computer and watched Youtube video after Youtube video of people who were known to get women (Vince Vaughn, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Usher, Adventura, Mystery, Style, Gambler) and studied how they walked, talked, and acted.
I became very observant and I sponged what they did and incorporated their behaviors into my behaviors. By the way, I didn’t just study famously successful people, I studied my peers who were successful with women.
I narrowed all the qualities down into a few universal ones:
- Poise Under Pressure
- Socially Intelligent
- Powerful Physical Presence
- Decision Maker
1. Self Confident
All the attractive people I studied and learned from were self-confident. They didn’t care what other people thought and they had a strong belief system. To develop a solid strong belief system, we will being using a combined approach.
Meaning that we will be working on your inner game directly—using affirmations and anchoring (I’ll explain later)— as well as indirectly by going out into the field and talking to women using the outer game techniques that you will be learning later.
When done together, you use them together you will amaze yourself at how fast you improve.
Affirmations are a positive and affirmative phrases directed at your subconscious mind to develop positive mindset and state
Now affirmations may sound a little hokey to you, but I assure you that they work. If you don’t believe me try this little exercise out that will show immediate results. Take a piece of paper out and write down all the things you dislike about yourself.
Notice how you feel. Then write down all the things that you love about yourself. Notice how different you feel.
Affirmations are so important because it counteracts all the negativity in the media, surroundings, and our natural tendencies to be negative. It is said that 80% of our thoughts are negative.
It is also said we have 56,000 thoughts a day give or take. So based off that percentage, we have 44,800 negative thoughts a day. Do I need to say more?
According to Dr. Susan Jeffers, author of “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway”, we all have a chatterbox in our heads that’s always talking bad, over-analyzing, and self-sabotaging.
In order to develop a more positive and attractive being, we have to actively develop the habit of thinking positively about ourselves and out-talking our chatterbox.
Here are a couple guidelines for affirmations:
1. They have to be stated in the positive
The subconscious mind does not recognize negatives. In other words, to your subconscious mind, “I am not unworthy” is the same thing as saying “I am unworthy”. You have to state your affirmations in the positive. “I am worthy.”
2. Your affirmations have to be in the present tense
“I can attract any girl I want” NOT “I will be able to attract any girl I want”
3. They should elicit emotion
You will know what this means when you feel it. An effective affirmation will make you feel a strong empowering emotion when you say it.
4. They should describe the person you aspire to be
If you want to be charismatic, sexy, and smooth, say that as an affirmation. I am charismatic. I am sexy. I am smooth.
5. It helps to use visualizations when you say your affirmations
Although you don’t have to, I’ve found to helpful not only to say your affirmations, but also to picture your ideal self or you in an ideal situation in your mind when you say them.
Here are some examples of my affirmations. Feel free to use them if you want, but come up with some on your own that are unique to you.
- I like myself
- I love myself
- I am charismatic
- I am attractive
- I can attract any girl I want
- All girls on some level want me already
- I am interesting
- I am confident
- I am fun and sociable
- I attract fun and attractive people to me
- People find me interesting and want to get to know me
- I am the best at anything I do
By the way, affirmations can and should be used when you’re actually out in the field. For example, when I meet a cute girl that I want to attract I immediately say to myself the following affirmation: “She wants me already. On some level, she wants me already.”
I “sponged” this affirmation from an old friend was is amazing with girls. I remember he would always say that out loud to me before approaching a girl.
“You see that girl Vance? She wants me.”
I’d always ask, “How do you know though.” To this he’d always just shrug and say with a smile, “I just do.”
You should write all of your affirmations down on a piece of paper and post it on your wall and look at the them every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep.
You could also record them into an audio that you listen on loop, whenever you are in the car or doing work so that it gets constantly ingrained into your subconscious.
Bottom line: Take whatever opportunity to drill positive affirmations into your mind. It may not seem like its working, but it is. Remember the Slight Edge.
They say that if you repeat a statement to yourself for 5 minutes a day for 90 days straight, it will be ingrained in your subconscious mind and you will begin to see “proof” all around you of the statements validity.
Sounds like new age bullshit? Maybe. But it works.
Getting Into State
Have you ever had a time where you just felt a natural high? When everything that you did seemed to work? Your timing was on point and things just flowed smoothly and effortlessly?
This is called being in state. Unfortunately, for most of us, this feeling only happens once in awhile and then goes away.
Believe it or not, you can actually train yourself to get into this state whenever you want. It’s called anchoring.
Anchoring is a technique of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) where a specific set of feelings or thoughts are linked to a specific stimulus.
An example of an anchor would be like listening to a song that brings back a specific feeling and/or memory.
The trigger in this case is a song, but an image, a finger snap, and other sounds, sights, or smells can work too.
From my experience, I’ve found that the best ways to anchor is with music and movement.
How To Anchor A State
Here’s how you anchor the state, so that you can get into the flow whenever you want. You will need your list of affirmations, a song with strong positive feelings attributed to it picked out, and somewhere where you can be loud and a little nuts.
Play the song out loud and start repeating your affirmations out loud and with as much feeling as possible. At the same time do some type of physical movement such as snapping your fingers, clapping your hands, punching the air, etc.
Keep doing this until the song it over then rinse and repeat a couple times.
The positive feelings may not be fully anchored until you do this exercise a couple times. You can further solidify this anchor by doing this exercise whenever you find yourself in a good mood.
Once you have the state anchored, whenever you play that specific song, or clap your hands you will be able to feel the positive feelings at will. Use this to your advantage when you prepare to go out and meet women.
2. Poise Under Pressure
Attractive people are always (read: most of the time) in control. They are rock solid even under pressure because they are leaders. I notice that the people who get consistent girls are always cool, calm and collected even when something goes wrong.
They do not freak out or get flustered, but maintain good posture and acted smoothly and deliberately to get things back on track. For example, let’s say you’re out on a date and you or someone knocks a drink over and it spills.
An attractive person would stay calm and collected, apologize and then do what is necessary to clean up. Someone easily flustered (and therefore not attractive) will get red in the face and scramble to clean things up. Not a good look.
Women want a strong man to take care of them. Someone who is calm and collected during pressure can do that for her.
3. Powerful Physical Presence
An alpha male doesn’t let other people push him around. When he is around, people feel his presence. He does not give up space, but rather takes up a lot of space. When he is at the club, he doesn’t hunch over or get pushed around.
It doesn’t mean you are an asshole with a big ass ego. No. Having and displaying presence simply means standing tall, displaying confident body language (more on that later), chin up, smiling and being comfortable with yourself.
4. Decision Maker
A strong man leads the interaction and make the decisions no one else wants to. When you are with a girl, don’t ask her what she wants. She’ll have whatever you are having. You are the man and you are the dominant figure.
When you want to leave the club, say “let’s get out of here”. If you want to get something to eat say, “I know this great sushi restaurant, let’s go check it out.”
Make the decisions for her, that she probably won’t want to make. By exercising control over her world, you are separating yourself from 99% of the other guys out there who bend over back to do what she wants.
You don’t want to come off as a control freak though and the way to not come off that way is simple. Just make the decisions for the most part but if she has suggestions, take them into consideration.
You do not need to be controlling the situation all the time, but become comfortable making and sticking to your own decisions.
5. Socially Intelligent
Attractive men are comfortable in virtually any social situation. He is able to adapt and work any social setting. He can charm the hostess, make people laugh, and work the room effortlessly. He understand social conventions and fashion (more on this later). Showing a strong level of social intelligence is extremely attractive to a woman.
Takeaway: You want to be able to connect with all types of people, not just specific types.
Section 4: Curb Appeal
Attracting women is directional not linear.
It is my belief that human interaction is too variable to be confined to a rigid system. To attract the girl, you must be able to remain fluid and improvise at times. Hence, the system I’m about to give you and all gurus give you is really just to make sure you’re going in the right direction.
Use the system below as a general map to your desired destination and the lines, routines, and gambits that I’m going to give you to navigate through it.
First let’s go over the 4 stages of an interaction from stranger to close:
Stage 1: Stranger (no relation – they don’t know who you are)
Stage 2: Approached, opened and transitioned into a normal conversation. (She is cool with you being around her because you’re just a cool person with good energy.)
Stage 3: Attracted to you (You not just have good energy but you have attractive qualities. You’re funny, you push and pull, you tease, you’re playful, you’re a strong figure, you’ve shown that you can have fun.)
It is at this point that they just feel attracted to you as a person. Not just girls, but guys. Not in a homosexual way. The attraction I am referring to here is that they “buy in” to you. They are attracted to you as a person in general.
They’ll think to invite you when they go out because you are a high value person that probably raises their value just because you’re around them. You’re cool. You’re fun.
If you can get to this stage, you can have beautiful women around you all the time, and you don’t really have to be getting with them.
Stage 4: This is where you can turn up the sexual tension with the girl you want. The way to do this is to use eye contact, body language, push pull, roleplay etc towards the girl you want.
Eye contact and body language is a main communicator and generator of not just attraction but sexual attraction. In this stage, you can kiss close or f-close the girl.
The system I am teaching you (we’ll call it the Get The Girl or GTG system for short) is designed to help you move the interaction through these 4 stages. To make it easier to understand, I have broken down the system into 6 parts.
- Curb appeal – Pre-approach
- Approaching – starting a conversation, and transitioning, and getting into a normal conversation
- Attraction + Reaching a hook point – Maintaining an engaging interaction and reaching a point where they find you cool. They’re cool with you being around and show first sign of interest- the hook point
- Attraction + Comfort – Continued the interaction to a point where they’re not only cool with you being around, but they want you around. At this stage you have built a strong connection on TOP of building more attraction.
- Close – (getting with the girl – you introduce sexual tension into the mix. At this point, depending on the situation, you can kiss her, take her home, get her number or whatever. But whatever the case, it’s ON.
- Followup – (maintain and strengthen an ongoing relationship with them.)
For those who do not know what curb appeal means, it is basically your attractiveness from a surface level before you’ve said a word or approached the girl. It will determine how receptive the girl will be to your approach.
Style, Grooming And Your Outside Appearance
“Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness”
Having good style and grooming shows that you have standards, self-esteem, and social intelligence.
People are always sizing you up so you are constantly either DHVing (Demonstrating Higher Value) or DLVing (Demonstrating Lower Value).
The effect can be very dramatic, but often it’s very subtle. Being consistently stylish and well groomed garners a sexy reputation. “Oh you know [insert your name], yeah, he’s always looking good.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money on name brand products. Clothing simply needs to fit well and be clean!
Find Role Models
Become a student of good fashion and style.
Find someone to role model and find inspiration in his or her style. i.e Johnny Depp, Pharrell Williams
I understand that I do not know exactly what environment you are in, but just keep in mind to dress the part. In other words, dress in a way that is attractive to the girls you are trying to date. If you like preppy chicks, go preppy. If you like surfer chicks, go surfer. If you like all types of chicks, just follow the trends.
Here’s some good advice: Whatever environment you are in, whether that be at a high end club or a more professional environment or maybe more “street”…find the “top dog” in your environment and copy his style.
For example, perhaps your scene is the whole hip-hop scene/style. What you’d want to do is to go and study Pharrell Williams or T.I. and mimic their style. Get your style on their level.
You do not need to buy the same brands they do. Feel free to do so if you can, but if not, there are plenty of places to get stylish clothing for cheap. Try H&M, Nordstrom Rack, Century 21
The truth is you do not have to be good looking to get girls. You just have to be well groomed and put together. Take a look at Swizz Beats or Jay Z for example. They are not the best looking guys but they have beautiful and powerful wives (Alicia Keys and Beyonce respectively).
It’s not their looks that is attractive it’s their swagger. And it’s that same swagger that got them famous, that same swagger that gets the respect of their male peers.
Important Note: these fashion tips are simply something I’d recommend but they are definitely not an absolutely necessary component to attracting women.
You could be a punk rocker but still get the preppy chick. You could be a laid back surfer dude and still pull the corporate new york hottie. Solid inner game and outer game (we’ll get to that later) will do the trick. But having good fashion and grooming simply greases the wheels in most cases.
Some quick pointers about fashion:
Sweat pants at a party. Running shoes with jeans. Phone case on the belt. No bueno. Most men don’t have a clue about fashion. It’s not their fault either. There is much less literature on men’s fashion than women’s.
But like it or not, women love a man who knows how to dress. You will need to develop a style of your own. Here are a few pointers.
Your style needs to fit your personality and the women you want to attract. If you dressed up preppy, but you’re after punk rock chicks, you’re not setting yourself up right.
The centerpiece of your outfit should start with the shoes. A nice pair of shoes will make any outfit look better, but a nice outfit with with a lame pair of shoes will look ridiculous.
Ditch the running sneakers. The only place that belongs is in the gym. Get some designer shoes. Boots, dress shoes, or brand new designer sneakers. Brown shoes look better with blue jeans.
For the pants, it is better to get some jeans that have designs on them than plain old Levis. You want to exhibit your personality. I saw Dwayne Wade with these red jeans one time. Looked very fresh and definitely drew attention. Be bold.
A unique shirt with some designs or logos is better than a plain white or black tee. You don’t want to have a generic with your style.
Generic = boring. Boring = no curb appeal. No Curb appeal = no play.
You don’t want to seem like a clown though. Two bold colors will probably clash. If you are wearing red pants, tone it down with a plain top.
Get some interesting accessories, but again make sure it fits your persona. If you are a business man, don’t wrap your arms with surfer bracelets. It might look a little strange. Do so when you’re off the job.
Get an interesting watch. A necklace and/or couple rings are optional.
Ties should have dimples. Belt should match shoes, (if you’re wearing dress shoes). Black socks with dress shoes could never go wrong. Make sure your clothes fit well. Especially dress clothes; get your dress clothes tailored. Baggy is sloppy.
All of this stuff is pretty “common sense”, but common sense is not common practice.
If you feel like you know this stuff already, do the girl check.
Go ask some girls what they think of your style. Tell them that you are preparing for a date and you want to make sure you look good. Girls love to talk about fashion so it’s a great way to practice your conversation skills too.
You do not have to be good looking or jacked to get women. You do have to make sure that you take care of you are well-groomed. Women want to see that you take care of yourself.
Here’s a quick checklist:
- Get a sexy and CLEAN haircut. Get a free consultation from a high end salon to find out what haircut suits you. If you’re on a budget then go somewhere cheaper to get the actual cut
- Shower once every day, twice if you’re prone to BO
- Try to keep showers less than 15 minutes because longer than that strips away too much natural oil.
- How’s your breath? Always carry around gum or mints
- Teeth. If they’re yellow, whiten them. If they’re majorly crooked, fix them.
- Hair – remove all hair except on head. I don’t care what you say, hairiness is not attractive. It’s uncomfortable, it get in the way, and it retains BO. If you insist on keeping have facial hair, it should be neat and shaped up regularly.
- Nails – keep them trimmed regularly. Its weird when yours are longer than hers.
- Dry skin? Look closely. Healthy skin is moisturized skin. Get an all-natural moisturizer with Aloe Vera in it. Vaseline’s brand is good.
- Chapped lips? Nobody likes to kiss crusty lips.
- Cologne? Don’t overdo it. One spray on the wrist and dab it on your neck.
On Being In Shape
Like I said, you don’t have to be a bodybuilder, but you should be in shape. Fitness is sexy.
- Go to www.bodybuilding.com, find a routine and get in shape.
- Better yet, I already did the research for you. Here’s the perfect article/starting point: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/fitness-360.html?mcid=NL-NEWS02120411
There is no excuse for not being in shape.
70% of communication is non-verbal. There is a reason why two people who use the same lines experience different results. It is the delivery and the body language, before and during the pickup. Let’s go over before first.
You need to develop good body language that displays confidence and yield high “curb appeal” to women. Your body language says things about you even before you open your mouth, and usually determines how receptive a girl is to your approach.
Something that really helped me when studying body language is to watch a ton of movies and mimic the alpha male.
I saw how Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matthew McConaughey, and Johnny Depp moved, stood, and carried themselves in movies. Movies like Public Enemies with Johnny Depp, Failure to Launch With Matthew McConaughey, Ocean’s Eleven with Brad Pitt and George Clooney.
Watch and try to copy them as much as you can. Don’t worry about ending up with the “same” style as them. You’re uniqueness will inevitably add your own flavor to their style.
It’s just like how comedians are. There won’t ever be another Johnny Carson or Conan O’Brien, but there will be a comedian who tried to copy them and ended up with their own unique style.
Slow Down Your Movements
Learn to slow down your movements.
Make slower movements with your head and your gestures. Quick fidgety movements exhibit insecurity and nervousness.
Of course, do go overboard as to come off sloth like. Just don’t move if you don’t need to. You want your movements to be deliberate.
Think a lion. The lion is king. They don’t move much. They’re relaxing and at ease most of the time. But when they do move, they are deliberate.
Use Hand Gestures
When you are talking, use expressive hand gestures. It’s more exciting and it draws in attention.
Get Rid Of Nervous Movements
Watch out for nervous movements. A lot of guys will get nervous when talking to women and start exhibiting a whole host of things. Some touch their face, back of the neck, chin, hair. Others play with their hands or fingers. Some others put their hands in and out of their pockets or cross their arms around their chest, behind the back, or in front of their waist. Some do all of these!
Get rid of all these nervous ticks when talking. Be deliberate with your movements and gestures, and try to keep hands in one position when you’re talking.
If you think how you stand with your hands just by your sides is awkward then do what I said, watch and copy how the alpha male in movies stand. Watch where they keep their hands.
How To Stand
A lot of guys also don’t know how to stand. They sway their body back and forth and seem uncomfortable. Here’s a good way to do it. Stand with your legs slightly wider than shoulder apart, chest out, head up, chin slightly down.
It should feel somewhat unnatural at first, but rooted. Then take your thumb and touch it to your index and middle finger and let your arms drop to your sides. This is a very confident position and you can stand for hours without swaying. The thumb and index finger trick is also a good way to prevent you from fidgeting.
How To Sit
When you sit down you should either sit one of two ways. Legs opened or crossed. Study how celebrities sit on talk shows. Emulating celebrities and high value people is always a good way to pick up good body language.
Also when you sit, lean back. Be relaxed. Take up space.
How To Walk
Don’t waddle. Don’t take small steps. Don’t walk too quick. Again slow it down and/or walk deliberating like you know where you are going and add some swagger to it. Long strides and big movements always exhibit alpha qualities.
Being able to maintain eye contact shows a ton of confidence. When you are talking to someone, you should maintain eye contact 80-100 percent of the time. There is nothing wrong with holding eye contact the entire time without looking away.
Don’t stare them down, but rather learn how to hold soft friendly eye contact. The key to this is to gently “smile” with your eyes. A fun little game I used to play when I was getting used to this, is that I would maintain eye contact until I found out what color was the other person’s eyes.
This may feel uncomfortable at first, but like everything else it will get more comfortable the longer you practice. If at first you feel the need to look away, look to the side or up, but never down. Looking down exhibits insecurity and shady-ness.
Eye contact is a great way to attract a women without saying anything at all. Read “How To Have Sex With Beautiful Women” by Joe Rabin. He emphasizes a lot on eye contact.
Practice Eye Gazing
Here’s something I learned from the “4 Hour Workweek”. Take 2-3 days learning how to eye gaze. Basically locking eyes with as many people as you can and not looking away until they do.
Again, smile with your eyes and smile as they look at you. If they don’t, who cares. Some people are just plain negative. If they ask you what the hell you are staring at, say you thought they looked like an old friend.
The key to smiling is smiling more with your eyes than with your mouth.
This wraps it up for creating the best curb appeal. Get what we’ve covered so far down and it will make your approach a whole lot easier.
In fact if you get these things down, you basically don’t have to be scared of the approach. I mean why would you be? Believe me, most girls, even the hottest girls, wouldn’t mind having a well-groomed, confident guy with great style and a nice smile to approach them.
Guys will want to make you their friend and girls will want to at least be part of your inner circle. Why? Remember what I said about people always sizing you up all the time? Well what message do you think a well-groomed, confident guy with great style and a nice smile is conveying as he walks down the street.
Answer: He’s probably rich, successful, cool, a “boss” and well-connected. Whatever the case, this initial curb appeal screams “I got shit going on”. And everyone wants to be connected with people who has shit going on.
What we’ve gone over so far are all things in your DIRECT control, so there are no excuses not to do them. If you get all of these things down, you will become 10x more attractive overnight. You will even be able to pull in a girl or two with these techniques alone.
Section 5: Open (Starting A Conversation) + Transitioning (Turning An Initial Approach Into A Normal Conversation)
How To Approach And Get Into A Normal Conversation With A Woman You Just Met
Most people will feel approach anxiety when they want to talk to an attractive woman in varying intensities. Some have a little bit of butterflies, while others have utmost dread.
There are two reasons why you get this.
The first one is that you’ve been brainwashed by the media to put beautiful women on a pedestal. Listen beautiful women are no different than you when it comes down to it. They eat, sleep, shit and fart. They put on their underwear first when they get dressed and sometimes after a long day of work their feet even smell.
They’re insecure, they second guess themselves, they have feelings, they want to have sex, they want to be loved. They are normal human beings who just got blessed with some good looks.
The quicker you realize this the better you will be with girls. The media has made you think these girls are frickin’ flawless with their flawless skin, and blessed physical features.
But bottom line is when it comes down to it, they are just the same as you and me. Human beings trying to make sense of the world, trying to feel loved, to connect with people, to be successful, to have experiences, to feel good, etc.
The other reason you get approach anxiety is because you are not yet comfortable with your pickup skills. Whenever you aren’t good at something, there is a natural uncomfortableness when you go to do it.
However, the feeling goes away when you master it. People come up with lots of ways to get rid of approach anxiety, but there is no quicker way to get over it than by just doing lots of approaches: 30 or so approaches should nip it in the bud
It’s about desensitizing yourself. Think about the photographers of Victoria Secret models. Do they walk around googling at the models all day? The answer is no. Why? Because they see the models every damn day.
They are numb to their beauty and they see them as the normal human beings that they are. That’s where we need to get you.
But what if you really can’t bring yourself to approach?
For those who say its easier said than done, you need to remove thinking completely out of the process and become mechanical. You do that by following the famed 3 second rule.
Whenever you see a girl you like, you need to immediately heads towards her within 3 seconds. See the girl–walk over. Instinctively. Automatically. Or else you will talk yourself out of it.
Just decide to yourself right now that you are going to commit to that rule, no matter what.
Basically play dumb. If that’s the rule, then I will just follow the rule. Period.
Now don’t worry if you chicken out once or twice. Just recommit yourself and get right back to following the rule.
What if you broke the three second rule and you still want to approach?
Susan Jeffers PhD, author of Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, says that the underlying motive of all our fears is the fear that we can’t handle it.
But ask yourself, “What’s the worse that can happen.” and “Can I handle it?”
Of course you can. There is absolutely nothing she could possible do that you can’t handle. What if she laughs at me? What if she ignores me? What if the conversation goes stale and everybody is looking?
“I can handle it!”
Added onto the fact that most of the negative things you picture to yourself will never happen, even if it did, you would still be able to handle it.
Additionally, focus on how you would feel if you didn’t approach.
Regretful. Insecure. Unworthy.
Then focus on what you would feel if you approach. Even if she rejects you, you will still feel a powerful sense of empowerment from conquering your fear and going for it.
Final note about approach anxiety: Use your common sense man. If you have your curb appeal down, you’re gravy. You have nothing really to worry about.
Now with your approach anxiety in check, we’ll move onto the actual approach.
First let me define opening. Opening is any way of starting an interaction with a girl.
There used to be a time where the use of canned (memorized) question openers like “Who lies more, guys or girls?” was extremely popular and effective.
To be honest, I’d be careful about using the old popular canned openers. Ever books like “The Game” and shows like Vh1’s “The Pickup Artist” and have become so popular, these “openers” and the use of “openers” have become pretty well known.
Make no mistake though, I am referring to common canned openers. The concept of an opener is still in perfect shape and will always be. The key is to just be sincere and ask something you actually want to know the answer to.
Most openers you use will be indirect openers. Indirect opening just means any way of opening without you conveying your interests right off the bat.
These can be a functional openers such as “What time is it?” or an opinion openers like “Does this shirt make me look gay?” or a situational opener like “Wow, did you see that guy doing the magic trick?!”
I really want you to not focus on the lines themselves, but on why they work. The reason we use opinion openers and functional openers is because we don’t want to immediately communicate interest.
That is why! And by not communicating interest immediately, the chances of rejection are drastically lowered.
If delivered correctly, indirect openers allow you to come in under the radar to get into a conversation with the girl.
Reason being that attractive women get hit relentlessly since they were in high school, and they have natural resistance to any type of romantic come-on from a guy. By going indirect and using a spontaneous sounding question, you avoid setting off her defenses in the beginning.
The key to using these openers is to make them sound as spontaneous and sincere as possible. If you walk all the way across the room to ask a girl whether or not you should get your little cousin a stuffed animal or ipod, then it kind of gives you away.
Note: Naturally, a very attractive woman will believe that any guy who talks to her is trying game her, but that is why we use disqualifiers to get past this preconception. (Disqualifiers are discussed later)
Here are some indirect openers for you to use:
“Hey guys, I need a little help with something, do I look like a drug dealer? I’m asking cause these girls outside just asked me if I had any weed?”
“Mmmm, you got style my friend! Where did you get those shoes? My sister (or my friend) was telling me how she wanted nice brown shoes for ages.”
You: “Hey, what do you guys think about girls with tattoos?”
Her: blah blah blah
You: “I’m asking because a friend of mine who just turned 20 wants to get a tattoo of her boyfriend’s name on her wrist? What do you guys think about that or What would you think if someone got your name on them, touched or creeped out?
You: “Would you date a guy who lived in a tent?…What if it was a really cool tent?”
Her: blah blah blah
You: I’m asking cause we were arguing about whether or not money is important in the dating game. Who would you rather date, someone who has all the money in the world and can take you wherever or someone who is the best lover ever? [elaborate or bust on her answer]
“Does this shirt/haircut make me look gay?”
“Hey you guys I need help with something. A friend of mine is on a business trip and he’s asked me to do him a huge favor and get his girlfriend something for her birthday. He’s given me $200, but I’ve been walking around the mall in circles and I’m completely lost. Would you guys have any ideas for me? Should I get one big present or lots of small ones?
There are hundred and hundreds of openers on the web that you can try out, but eventually you should be able to come up with some on your own. The key to creating a good indirect opener is to combine elements of drama or excitement into them. Girls love to talk about relationships, drama, tv, fashion, and celebrities. It’d be a safe bet to tailor some of your own openers around these topics.
***Don’t get too caught up in the opener because it is not the most important part of the interaction. Remember the sole purpose of the opener is to get the conversation started. The transition and conversational threading skills you’ll learn later are much more important.
Direct opening is when you approach in a way that lets the girl know that you are attracted to her upfront.
Direct opening has actually become my favorite way of approaching. Why? Because I have my curb appeal down and I’m pretty desensitized to rejection now. Sometimes I really think we just take this whole thing too seriously.
This whole worrying about rejection thing. It’s really just a fun game. Rejected? So what. You have unlimited lives in this game. Just hit the reset button and you can play as many times as you want. None of it is really that serious.
Here are the key points to an effective direct opener.
How do you make a direct opener successful?
Answer: Curb appeal – style, grooming, confident body language, presence…the whole package discussed earlier.
What steps should I take to direct approach?
- Eye contact
- Smile with your eyes and slightly with your mouth (part of curb appeal)
- Approach decisively and right away. If she senses hesitation, it will botch up the approach.
- Say something like “hey” – Or – “you’re pretty cute”
The thing with direct openers is that they decide at that moment whether they are interested or not. This is why curb appeal is so important. If they are interested or at least receptive, then it’s on and you can continue right into a normal conversation.
After using a direct opener, you do not need to beat around the bush. Go into deeper conversation and escalate physically. You can usually go for a number close or k-close within 20 minutes.
Approaching On The Dance Floor
If you are only talking to women at the bar in the club, you are seriously limiting your opportunities. There are lots of opportunities to get girls on the dance floor. However, when I first started learning pickup, nobody could give me a straight answer about how to approach a girl on the dance floor.
It is tough to try to have a conversation with a girl when she is busy dancing on the floor with her friends and the DJ is blasting the music right next to your ear.
So How Do You Approach Girls On The Dance Floor And Start Dancing With Them?
Some people said just go up and grind on them like the man! Others say go up and politely ask them for a dance. But these never really worked.
Grinding up against them was totally a hit or miss thing and most girls get turned off by it unless they are super promiscuous, drunk, or you look like Christiano Ronaldo.
Going up and asking for the dance in a club is pretty lame. Basically the two extremes. One approach was too dominant and the other was too weak. There had to be a way that exhibited both dominant qualities and got the dance virtually every time.
I discovered the right method from observing my friend on the dance floor one night as he approached and k-closed a girl on the floor within a matter of minutes. Here’s how you do it.
- Get her attention nonverbally (bump hips, eye contact, mirroring her moves, gesturing to her)
- Dance opposite of her for a min, holding eye contact and move closer towards her
- Initiate a quick interaction for no longer than 20 seconds – Just a quick hey and a smile with your eyes will do.
- Continue dancing opposite of her (meaning facing her) for a few moments and then offer her both your hands
- Grab her hands and keep dancing for a few more moments. Then gradually pull her closer towards you so that you guys are touching a bit more (legs grazing each other)
- Spin her around and start grinding with her
The key is to approach from the front! Dance with her starting from the front. No need for many words. Just dance facing her for a few moments.
Going For The Kiss Close On The Dance Floor
Pickup from step 5 (see above), but instead of spinning her around and grinding, continue dancing with her and pulling her closer. Test her compliance by running your hands through hair and kissing her cheek. If she doesn’t seem resistant, you’re gravy…just kiss her.
I personally have never had this fail on me and from what I remember virtually every time I did this, I kissed close the girl. One time as fast as 30 seconds. That’s how powerful this is.
Remember the keys are to approach from the front. Vibe, dance and have a good time. No need to say much. Just show rock solid confidence.
Some Additional Pointers About “Dance Floor” Game
- Do not stand around on the dance floor drooling like all the other guys there
- Do not grind up on the girl from behind at first
- Do not timidly ask for the dance
- Genuinely enjoy the music and dance to it on beat
- Have fun with it. Do a dance off.
- Be dominant. Don’t hesitate to initiate a dance with a girl.
- Learn the basic merengue step. (Search up merengue) It can come in handy.
People are always asking, “what’s the best opener”. However, the truth is that the opener is not that important. More important than the opener is the transition. If you approach someone and ask them for the time and they tell you and you leave, then you don’t get the girl.
You can open with virtually anything as long you have a good transition into a normal conversation.
Different openers need different transitions. Direct openers don’t need transitions.
One way to transition is to have a “spontaneous” observation about her, that continues the conversation naturally. The train of thought for an indirect open should be “Thanks for the opinion.. wait what is that?”
Another way to transition is to have a “spontaneous” follow up question to your opener. A good one is to say, “hey, just out of curiosity are you swedish?”
Another way to transition is to pick up on something she said in her response to your opener and continuing the conversation from there.
For example say you asked her, “hey where’s a good bar around here?” Imagine she responded with, “You have to go near the big mall on main street. There’s this good bar called the Rabbit Club.”
To this you can respond in a multitude of ways, but a great way would be to say, “oh there’s a mall here too? Is it any good?” and bam you’re into a normal conversation.
Another way to transition is to find a connection between her answer and something you can say.
Say we’re back in the scenario I just mentioned. You asked her if there are any good bars around here. She replies, “You have to go near the big mall on main street. There’s this good bar called the Rabbit Club.”
To use a connection transition you just simply need to say something like, “Oh the Rabbit Club that sounds like something they have back home in Canada! There’s this club in Canada that we went to one time blah blah blah.”
Direct openers do not need a transition because if they are successful, you can just go directly into conversation threading and rapport building.
Transitioning is really just about knowing how to conversation thread and introduce new conversation threads smoothly.
Disqualification- Attraction Through Breaking Rapport
I briefly mentioned disqualifiers before, but I want to dedicate a quick section to it because of its importance. A disqualifier is basically something that disqualifies you as a potential suitor (someone who is trying to hit on her).
It could be something as simple as turning away or telling her that “you’re so cute… you’re going to be like my little sister” (said in a playful way).
Disqualifying does a few things. It creates attraction and it shows her that you’re not like the typical guys who try to build rapport (connection) with her by agreeing with everything she says…even if they don’t really mean it. Basically, it shows her that you are not “try hard”.
Let me give you an example of this:
Guy: “Do you like funny movies?”
Guy: oh so do I. My favorite comedian is Kevin Hart.
Girl: I don’t really like Kevin Hart.
Guy: Well yea I used to like him alot, but actually he’s not been so good lately..”
This type of interaction happens a lot and it totally makes me cringe. It’s wrong in all types of ways. Its weak and its not attractive. Girls hate stuff like that. Girls want a man who’s got some balls and will stick to their guns. But most guys try so hard to build rapport in the beginning, that they will drop everything to do it.
However, if you don’t do that and you instead actively break rapport with her in subtle or humorous way, then she will say to herself, “Who is this guy? He’s different than all the other losers I’ve talked to all night. Wait I thought he was trying to hit on me when he came up, but if he was then he wouldn’t say “you’re going to be like my little sister”… I want to find out more about this guy”
Disqualifying will lower the girls defenses down because she won’t be so worried that you are going to try to hit on her. She probably won’t open up fully immediately, but will definitely be more interested. Sometimes a simple disqualifier can help you reach the hook point. (Hook point meaning the point in a conversation where she wants you around.)
How Do You Disqualify
- Turn your back towards her real quick when she says something you don’t agree with
- Pretend to pick some lint off her and busting on her for it; “You got some lint right there”
- Offer her some gum and if she refuses say “no really.. take a piece.”
- “You’re so cute, I gonna adopt you as my little sister and we’ll climb trees and drink lemonade all day”
- Mention your “girlfriend”; you can later explain that it was a lady friend. you have lots of girl-friends.
- Say that you’re gay; when you close (escalate physically) say that you changed your mind
- Calling her, “hey dude”
You should disqualify in the first few moments you start talking to a girl so that way you can continue gaming her without her defenses all up. Some of the disqualifiers above like ‘offering gum’ or ‘you got some lint right there’ are sometimes known as pua negs i.e. small teases/backhanded compliments.
Used correctly, they work wonders for generating attraction. For more example lines like the ones above and also a more in depth explanation of neg theory read this article. (Don’t worry, click and it’ll open up a new tab so you can save your place here.)
Section 6: Conversation + Storytelling
Social Skills Foundation
So you just started a conversation with the girl. Good job! Your next job is to maintain an interesting and engaging conversation with the girl.
First you need to have a solid social skills foundation.
This section is about how to connect with and become friends with almost everyone. It’s also about how to influence (NOT manipulate) people into seeing your way.
This is powerful stuff! The points I listed here are from a book that I read that catapulted my game and my social circle.
I made a pdf cheat sheet of the rules to remember. But you will neither appreciate nor understand fully the rules until you go and read or listen to “How To Win Friends And Influence People” By Dale Carnegie.
Read the book free here:
And then download the pdf of the rules here:
A huge part to being able to attract beautiful women is to be socially savvy. Powerful conversation skills and the ability to connect with people on a deeper level is essential.
I’m talking about having great conversations on the fly without the use of memorizations, gimmicks, routines, or canned material. I want you to develop the ability to have a natural conversation anytime you want.
A couple notes to begin with:
- Talk louder – work on your voice tonality. Speak from your chest instead of your throat or your naval. How do you know if you’re speaking from your chest? Put your hand on your chest and speak. You hand should vibrate strongly when you speak through your chest. A smooth and powerful voice is very attractive and seductive to women.
- Resonate – speaking softly conveys lack of confidence.
- Don’t be so serious – have fun, smile, be at ease. You being serious will compel her to get all serious.
- Don’t try and plan the conversation so much. If you read “How To Win Friends & Influence People” like I suggested then you’ll know that truly listening is a huge key to connecting with people.
If you truly listen and have the ability to ask skilled questions (we’ll get to that) you won’t have any trouble flowing through a powerful conversation.
- Don’t seem like you’re trying so hard. Silences are ALRIGHT! It’s just important to have comfortable silences.
- Comfortable silence begins with you. If you’re at ease, they will feel compelled to be at ease. If you are looking away, fidgeting, not smiling then there will be an awkward silence.
- Comfortable silences usually come after a great conversation. For example, you and the woman just shared a laugh and a story together. At this time, you can just look at her in the eyes and smile softly.
- Guys this is where the connection is made!!! Good conversation + looking into her eyes and smiling softly.
- Don’t mistake teasing with insulting. Many people in the pickup community suggest using negs a.k.a. negative compliments. This is ok if used correctly, but for the most part I feel that guys just end up insulting the women. This is no good. Don’t go making fun of a girl blatantly. You think it’s teasing/flirting but she will think you’re a little kid. We’re not in 1st grade anymore. She’ll know you’re hitting on her…and doing it really badly at that.
The Art Of Threading – The First Step To Mastering Conversations:
The most basic conversation technique is called threading. The idea is to use word associations to generate ideas or new “threads” for the conversation to go down.
Suppose I said “Christmas”. What would you think? You’d probably think something along the lines of “presents”, “dinner”, “fireplace”, or “family”. This is word association.
Spend the next minute thinking up of as many topics related to those three words that you could talk about.
This is a skill you need to practice and develop. The ability to hear words and quickly associate a number of topics that you can go toward…preferably topics that you have some actual substance to talk about.
So this is the basic structure of a flowing conversation.
Ex. Person A says a sentence and inside the sentence are 3 topic words in it. Let’s say, chocolate, Europe, and movie. Related to these 3 topics are an additional however many topics. (Hint: your list from before)
So now you have 3 topics + the number of topics on your list to potentially talk about a.k.a. introduce a new conversation thread.
In the beginning, this whole process of using word association to find new conversation threads takes effort but eventually it’ll become automatic with practice.
When you’re skilled at word associations and you really listen, having “things to talk about” suddenly becomes easy.
Just to get your mind jogging a little bit. Here are some key pointers for choosing topics to talk about.
Fun and engaging Topics are what you are looking for:
- Topics you’re really interested in and you’re engaged in. If you can talk passionately about then it’s usually a good topic. Remember you’re painting your image for a girl when you talk.
- Popular shows and movies
- Travel/places you want to go; it’s really powerful and engaging if you can paint the idea of going to some place exceptionally interesting. Ex. Instead of just saying I’d like to go to the West Coast (general), talk about how you’d like to go to the underwater hotel in Fiji (specific) and describe it in detail how it would be like according to what you read or better yet, what you’ve actually experienced.
- Where you see your future (if you’re ambitious; women love men who are progressive, pro-life, and ambitious – In fact since so few people are actually ambitious in life you’ll immediately set yourself apart if you truly are committed to chasing the dream i.e. becoming successful.)
Things to keep in mind:
- Keep away from topics that are negative or inappropriate i.e. STDs, death, porn.
- You can talk about scary topics or things that make you fearful but don’t be negative. Nobody likes a complainer or a “victim” of life.
- Any self-deprecating (putting yourself down) topics.
- Remember you’re learning to control conversations. Use your mind to locate word associations and create new threads. Oh and by the way, there’s no law that says once you start a thread you have to stay on it until the cows come home. Feel free to talk about whichever threads you are actually interested in.
How you talk about these topics is just as important as what you talk about.
Important notes: When you say sentences try and include 2-3 topics so that the girl your talking to can jump onto a topic easily. I call this feeding the birds.
***A good way to practice conversation threading in the beginning is through instant messaging. You have more time to think but it’s still “real time” in a way.
Use Statements More Than Questions
Most men have it all mixed up. Many have never really learned how to have real conversations with women. What do they do wrong?
They don’t lead conversations through skilled statements; they just ask a ton of bad questions. And asking bad questions puts the responsibility and control of the conversation in the hands of the woman…who usually don’t take it very far.
The result is a boring and uninspiring conversation. And here’s the real kicker: The woman will not even know that she’s giving boring answers. She’ll just know that she’s bored.
Start changing your perspective about “getting to know somebody”. Most of the time men think getting to know someone is about asking surface questions like “Where do you live”, “What do you do”, and “Do you like to watch movies?”
We’ll talk about asking skilled questions in a second, but first first get this concept down. Use statements more than questions.
Use statements that compel a response.
You do this by leaving pebbles (topics) and going deeper into your answers. You do that by sharing real substance and stories. Not just facts you can get off a Facebook page.
Ex. Suppose a girl asks you: What’s your favorite chocolate? Instead of simply saying: dark chocolate. You could say something like. Dark chocolate. Its my favorite because this one time, I went to Max Brenner’s Chocolate Restaurant in the city…[insert good story here].
There are ways to ask questions that are very skillful. You want to ask questions that relate to the human experience: questions that makes her think about how she feels, thinks or perceives a subject matter.
Getting a woman to share her feelings, emotions and perception of the world will create a connection between the two of you. Getting a women to share how she thinks about herself is also a good thing.
Girl: I went parasailing last summer in Cancun.
You: Wow, that’s must have felt awesome. How’d it feel like being up there? What was going through your mind?
The objective here is to get the woman to reveal some of her inner perspectives and mental processes.
You want to avoid asking disconnected questions that can be answered with a yes or no or just a simple fact. Ex. What’s your favorite color? Red. Do you like to swim? Yes.
There’s obvious a time to ask these questions but in general don’t do it in the beginning before she thinks she’s on some CNN interview.
Stories are so important and powerful. Why? Good stories take women on an emotional journey.
I really advise you to go read more subjects on the matter and become a phenomenal storyteller.
Here are some pointers to get you started.
- Men tell stories through facts.
Ex. I met this guy at the office today. He did this. I said that. We argued. I went home.
- Women tell storied through emotions.
Ex. I met this girl at the office today and she just had this bad vibe about her, a real cold expression on her face. She had this tight black dress on with red heels. So anyways, she said this. I couldn’t believe she said that. Can you believe that? How rude.
So I was upset and I said that. We ended up arguing. I was so upset. So frustrated with this woman. But in the end I went home and cooled off. Ended up getting cozy with my boyfriend so it was a good day in the end.
Tell through emotions more than facts. Facts are ok but talk in detail about how you felt and what you were thinking. This helps the woman connect with you because human beings feel similar emotions even in different situations. If you were nervous in your story, she can relate to feeling nervous (if you describe how the nervous feeling felt). If you felt fear, she can relate. If you felt butterflies in your stomach, she can relate.
This feelings and emotions are part of the human experience. When you describe these feelings and emotions, you can connect with not just women but people in general.
You want to paint the picture when you’re telling a story. Your goal is to help her vividly imagine herself in your shoes or at least as if she was with you.
Some things to keep in mind:
- Don’t obnoxiously brag
- Have a beginning middle and end
- Have a clear point to your stories; don’t tell stories that have no relation to the current situation.
- Get rid of ‘non’ words like “um”, “like”, “you know” because they makes people tune out.
- Have excitement and enthusiasm in your story. You don’t have to be silly or over the top, but at least sound as if you are actually have something interesting to say.
- Be socially savvy. Some stories are good for one type of situation some aren’t. Ex. Don’t talk about your strip club escapades in a professional environment.
- Maintain eye contact. You may think it’s awkward to stay looking into the eyes of a girl but it’s not. In fact, it’s WAY awkward to keep looking away while talking.
- Don’t be a try hard. Avoid saying things like, “isn’t that funny or funny thing is”. If your story is funny, they’ll laugh. If it wasn’t they won’t. Keep moving forward. Don’t wait for a response.
- Don’t try and sum up your story after it’s done.
So once you’ve done some push pull, threaded a decent conversation, and told some killer stories, you should have reached the hook point. Of course, it may not take all three things to get a hook point; sometimes just one funny story or conversation thread or push pull will get her interested.
Section 7: Attraction + Comfort
So now you know how to have a good conversation with a woman. You know how to use your conversation skills to connect with her and come off interesting.
Now I am going to dive into how to create the “spark” in your conversations with women. You have the foundation now to be a good conversationalist with anyone. So now I am going to give you the techniques you need to not only have a great conversation with a girl but also to attract her.
The first technique is my favorite.
This is the most powerful technique to create attraction. It’s fun, it’s funny, it make girls laugh. It keeps them guessing. It gets you the girl.
So what exactly is push and pull.
A good way to explain push and pull is with the cat string example. If you dangle a piece of string near a cat it will try and get it. By putting it close and then pulling it away you can get the cat to move.
However if you pull it away too far it will lose interest and walk away. Vice versa, if you give it to the cat immediately it will grab it, play with it for a little and get bored and walk away.
This is the principle behind push and pull.
To push in our sense of the word is to push a woman emotionally away.
To pull is to pull a woman emotionally closer.
When done correctly, push pull creates an emotional rollercoaster in a woman. It keeps them guessing what you really mean because you are sending mixed signals.
The process of being in push and pull is engaging and sexy. It gets them so flustered.
Here are some concrete examples to help you understand.
I remember this time when I was gaming this girl and we had just made out. As a matter a fact we’ve been making out all day. But then at the end of the night while I was holding her and she was holding me (closely) she said “it’s probably better that we stay friends” or something along those lines and then kissed me again.
Needless to say this got me all jumbled up inside and you can bet I was thinking about what had happened all the way home. While re-running the night’s event in my head I kept saying to myself, “did I do something wrong”, “I thought things were going great”, etc.
Although we ended up dating that day taught me a powerful lesson about the push and pull technique.
Can you see where the pull was created and where the push was created?
Consider or imagine a time when you were talking to a girl and she just seemed so into you but when you tried to make a move she turned her head away.
I bet that got you all flustered didn’t you? Emotionally you wanted to pull her back didn’t you? What had happened was that she had pulled you in with her flirting and then pushed you away when she turned her head.
Imagine you are talking to a beautiful woman and you see that she has a very fashionable necklace.
A normal compliment might be “wow that’s a really pretty necklace you have”. A better way to say it is “Why are you so fashionable?? Tell me the truth!” This should be said in a blaming tone, but with a smile.
This mixed message of a compliment plus “upset” tone creates a funny moment and always gets a laugh.
Things To Keep In Mind About Using Push Pull
Throw the line and leave it. In other words don’t sit waiting for/expecting a reaction when you either pull or push.
The Objective Of Push And Pull:
- Create a proper frame/tone of interaction that you are high value, in control, charming, and fun.
- Create an emotional rollercoaster inside her. Telling her that “you’re no longer friends” while hugging her.
Result – Sexual Emotional Attraction that she can’t help but have. In David DeAngelo’s terms, “attraction is not a choice”.
Seriously, if you push and pull correctly, with your body language and your words, there is NO way you will end up in the friend zone. On some level she WILL be attracted to you.
Applying Push And Pull Today
- Leaning in to kiss her and then pulling back a little as she leans in to kiss you. (Have her chasing the kiss) Then as she kind of “gives up” and pulls back a little, lean back in and kiss her strongly. This stuff is gold guys!
- Sending her a text like “wow I hate you =p” (Formula is: wow I hate you + smiley face i.e. push (hate you) and pull (smiley face) in the same sentence)
- Saying, “wow you’re such a liar” (smiling)
- Can you stop being so cute? Thanks. (This should be said in a funny sarcastic way. You’re trying to genuinely compliment her but act as if you’re upset that she is so cute.)
- While you’re sitting, hold out your hand to show that you want her hand. After holding her hand for a few seconds, say “oohhhh, I’m onto you! We’ve been talking for only a few minutes and we’re holding hands already. My mother told me about girls like you.” (Say this while smiling)
- Or another good one is “no hand holding this early” and throw her hand away gently. (Done in a light upbeat tone NOT in a mean way) Also, remember to immediately proceed with conversation; don’t wait for a response on this one.
- Saying “wow we’re not friends anymore” and turning your back slightly. (Remember, not in a mean way. Have a smirk on your face to show that you’re kidding…or are you? Haha)
- Busting on her and acting generally playful and immature, then suddenly switching to being smooth, masculine i.e. looking deeply into her eyes, slowing down your movements. (Clark Gable the great hollywood star was a master at this. Doris Day once spoke of him. ”He was as masculine as any man I’ve ever known, and as much a little boy as a grown man could be – it was this combination that had such a devastating effect on women.”)
- When she says something cool say “hi five” and raise your hand up to give her a high five. Then pull your hand away right before she hits it “sikeee. You’re not cool enough yet.”
- You’re like the coolest girl I’ve met…. in the last fifteen min
- Your cool… you can help me pick up chicks
- Hug her and say “man I hate you” after she does something silly.
You should be sprinkling in push and pull all throughout your interactions. It is a proven way to be charming and to generate attraction.
Building Deeper Chemistry And Role Playing
Done correctly, building deeper chemistry and role playing will make her feel like she’s known you for months even though you’ve only just met. This is “make her fall in love type of stuff”, so use with caution.
Let me just recap. At this point you have come across as a well groomed, well dressed, well put together guy who is a charming conversationalist using threading, push and pull, etc.
You’ve found out about her and connected with her. (Remember social skills foundation? One of the rules is Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves)
At this time you should also open up about yourself and share some of your desires, drives, motives, and personal stories of your own.
The best way to do this in one go is to tell something called your ID and your Why.
Your ID is your personal story with an emphasis on a personal transformation. Your Why is the reason why you do the things you do.
Your ID answers the following questions:
- Where I was?
- What I saw?
- What I did?
- Where am I now?
Usually your ID starts from some sort of struggle and ends in enlightenment. This is because people can relate to it because we’ve all had struggles of some sort. It reveals a sensitive and vulnerable side to you, but also shows that you triumphed in the end.
It can show that you are going places and progressive. You should weave your Why into your ID because if your why is big enough, it can sweep her away and move her deeply. You want her to think, “Wow this guy is deeper than I thought and is heading towards greatness.”
Sample of ID:
Where I was- Growing up, my family had no money, there were 4 of us crammed up a one bedroom apartment. My parents told me to go to school get good grades get a good job and the rest of the usual thing.
What I saw – As a kid didn’t know any better, so I just followed, but as I grew up I always saw my parents fighting over money. Arguing with relatives and talking behind each others back. I knew I didn’t want to do that I knew that there had to be a better way than just the normal rat race.
So I kept wishing and wishing that someone would come show me the way. Then I met a very successful businessman by chance in the coffee shop and by sheer serendipity, we struck up a relationship and since then he has been my mentor guiding me and my business.
What I did – After I met my mentor, I worked very hard. Day in and day out, I didn’t see my parents for 2 years just working and working, but I knew that I had a dream for my business and my life and I was going to achieve it no matter what.
Where I am now – Today, I feel so fortunate to have a steady business and a great mentor to guide me and I am more excited than ever to see what the future brings. After completely free up my time and my money, I want to start an organization teaching kids leadership and entrepreneurship in third world countries.
Naturally you’re story can differ greatly from the one above, but it will also share some of the same components. Really take a second and think about your story and your why.
Craft a story based on the guidelines above and rehearse it. Don’t worry about it being perfect. It will gradually change and get better the more times you use it. Your ID will become a great tool to share about yourself, your history, your vulnerabilities, your aspirations, and your future.
Role playing is when you paint a picture of you and her going somewhere or doing something in the future. Basically making future plans about some short of exciting adventure.
If described vividly enough, she will picture herself actually doing and/or going somewhere with you and create an out of body experience for the both of you. After a few roleplays she will feel like she’s known you for several months instead of a couple hours.
The Lemon Exercise
Take a break and try this exercise out.
I want you to picture a lemon in front of you. See how yellow it is. Feel the smooth yet rough texture of the skin. Then I want you to imagine taking a knife and slicing the lemon in half. As you slice through it, its juice gush out spills on the table. You smell the sweet citrusy scent.
Continue cutting the lemon into bite size pieces. Then pick up one of the wedges and suck on it. You cringe as you taste the succulent juices fill your mouth. Your eyes start to water…
Now snap back to reality.
Did you feel your mouth watering as I described that to you? I know mine did when I was writing that.
The point of that is to show that the body does not need to actually do something in order to experience it.
With vivid enough description, you can actually make someone experience certain emotions, even while they are not doing it. That is the power of role playing.
So take her on an out of body experience. Learn to use descriptive words to trigger the senses. Keep it light and fun. Done right, you will be able to develop a deep connection with the girl. You can also add some push pull in your role-plays to build further attraction.
Let me give you an example now. The topic of role playing is actually closely connected to storytelling which we went over before.
Remember a great way to find great roleplay topics is to just go and read up on some amazing places to travel to in the world.
Let me give you an example:
You: “Hey listen I just saw this article in a magazine that talks about this underwater hotel in Fiji!
Her: “An underwater hotel?”
You: “Yea. It’s decided! We’re going! I hope you’re boss won’t be upset because I’m going to come to your office on Thursday and steal you away. We’re going to hop in a black Escalade limo and it’s going to take us to the airport. Private of,course.
On the plane we’re going to sip champagne and just feel smoootthhh. You’ll probably take advantage of me at that time (laughs) and I think I’d probably let you [hehe].
Then we’d land and by that time it would be night time in Fiji. We’d go to the hotel and take the elevator down underwater and walk into our room.
And it’d just be all glass all around us and we could see the colorful fish and sea life swimming around us.
Man that’d be awesome wouldn’t it?
Section 8: Creating Physical Sexual Tension
The best way to create sexual tension is through touch, in the right place, at the right pace, and at the right time.
Kino (short for kinesthetics)
A lot of men find it scary to touch a women because they don’t want to come off as a creep. There is some truth behind this because women do not like being touched by drunk horny guys. However if you follow the guidelines below, you will not come off as creepy.
I learned from Vince Dicarlo that kino can be broken down in two types of touches: Incidental and Intentional
Incidental touching is any touching that doesn’t clearly suggest sexual interest. Ex. brushing her thigh with yours when you sit down or bumping shoulders when ur walking or giving a handshake
Intentional touching is any touching that suggests sexual intent. Putting your arm around her, touching her inner thigh, holding hands are all examples of intentional touching.
The kino escalation ladder is listed below, from start to close going from least resistance to most resistance:
- inner thighs
- lower back
- face and neck
- butt and breasts
How To Touch Her
You should switch back from incidental to intentional touching as you move up this escalation ladder. This way you can escalate smoothly without a high risk of rejection.
Start by doing a quick touch on her arm when emphasizing a point. (incidental) If she doesn’t resist to it at all then you can intentionally leave your hand there for longer next time. (intentional)
Then you might grab her hand to read her palm (Incidental). If she doesn’t pull away, then you can hold her hand and play with her fingers while you talk (intentional).
Key points to keep in mind
- You do not have to do each step one by one. These are rough guidelines. If the feeling is right you can skip right over whatever steps you want
- Watch your intention- you don’t want to be like “I’m going to touch her arm now.” That will make the touch awkward. You wanna keep your touch light at first and heavier later on.
- Don’t look at the part where you are touching. Again, do not draw attention to the touching. It will make it awkward.
- The faster you escalate the more you can get away with
Make Excuses To Touch Her
Making excuses to touch her masks intentional touching as incidental touching. Things like playing with her fingers (normally sexual) may not seem sexual if you are “reading her palm.”
Things you can do:
- palm reading
- check out her rings
- check out her earring
- grab her hand and lead her through the crowded club
- salsa dancing
- thumb wars
- high five her when she does something cool
- hug her when she does something cool
- walk arm in arm around the club
- play slaps
The Nervous Game
This is one we used to play in high school. It requires a good deal of connection because it turns on the sexual tension fast.
You can lead into this game by talking about how we all used to do some pretty immature things as kids.
Then ask her if she’s ever played the nervous game. Then place your hand on her leg and ask her if she is nervous. Keep moving your hand up her leg and keep asking her if she is nervous.
This will definitely get things hot fast!
No, this is not what you’re thinking of, though it can definitely lead to that later ;]. You can use sexual language to add some good tension to the convo in addition to your kino.
The sexual language I’m talking about is language that puts you in a sexual frame with her such as being married, or being girlfriend boyfriend, having sex.
“We’re getting divorced. You can keep the dog.”
“You’re my new girlfriend.”
“I can already tell we’re going to have bad fights. Then have makeup sex right after.”
“you look like you want to kiss me.”
“Mmm you smell nice.”
“Come here and give me a kiss.”
“Her: I have a boyfriend
You: Good, he can bring us breakfast when we’re in bed.”
It can also be words that makes her think about sex.
“Hey I heard the worst pickup line the other day. This guy went up to a girl and said, “I know you want me to go down on you.”
“Have you ever gone skinny dipping.”
Using innuendos in your storytelling and roleplays: “took off our clothes and jumped in the pool” “We were all alone in the dark…looking up at the stars”
Section 9: Closing
There are 3 types of closing:
- Number close
- Kiss close
- Sex close
Let’s go over the number close first. The number close is generally a scary step for a lot for a lot of guys. However, it doesn’t have to be nor should it be such a paramount thing.
If you did everything else right from the attraction, reaching the hook point, and establishing a semi steady connection, if you aren’t trying to kiss close or f close than the number close should follow naturally.
Directing the conversation to the close
First of all, to squelch a common mistake, you do not have to wait until the end of the interaction to get the number. In fact, after you get the number you should stay and talk for a bit longer every time if logistics allow. This will show the girl that you’re not just after her number.
I’ve found that the best way to get the number is to direct the conversation to naturally flow into it.
The best way to direct a conversation is to ask skilled questions.
Here’s an example:
You: So what do you do outside of work?
Her: I like to go to Bryant Park and ice skate.
You: Cool, I was actually go sometime, we should meet up.
Her: Ok sure
You: Cool let me get your number and meet up. [hand her your phone]
Its really that simple as long as you’ve followed the previous steps before. Notice that you never asked for the phone number, but just assumed that she would say yes. Always be leading the interaction.
Another one might look like this:
You: Have you been to the Sky Lounge
Her: No. I almost went with a couple friends the other day, but didn’t end up going
You: cool, well a couple of my friends are going this weekend. you should come. bring your friends too
Her: Yea, sure
You: Great. What’s your number?
Once again, you can direct the conversation to whatever interest she has by asking questions and it just naturally ends with you asking for her number.
The key is to do it in a light matter a fact kind of way. Also worth mentioning, if your connection is not as solid with the girl, it will be better to invite her to a group event with her friends and your friends instead of a one on one meeting.
Granted, there will be sometimes when you can’t lead the conversation to a prearranged meeting of some kind. In such cases, you can use the following script.
You: Hey I gotta run, but how can we continue this?
Her: [Most like she will say] Well… I can give you my number..
You: Ok cool. [Hand her your phone] Put it over there and I’ll text you mine.
You: Hey I have to meet a friend, but we should definitely continue this.
Her: yea we should
You: [Hand her your phone] ok cool put your number in and we’ll meet up sometime.
You: You know what. I was unsure about you at first, but you turned out pretty cool. Let me get your number [hand her your phone]
Its that simple. If you did the previous steps correctly, getting her number and even getting the kiss close is a joke.
Ahh the good old kiss. The moment where you know that it just got serious. Kissing a girl may seem like a nerve-wracking move for you, but it doesn’t have to be. Truth be told, it really isn’t a big deal.
After this section, you will be able to tell when she is ready and how to go for the kiss.
Few Vital Points To Begin With
I want you to realize that for most girls, kissing is not that big a deal. Like seriously. This isn’t middle school when kissing the girl after the movie date made you the man.
Most women have kissed their fair share of people and if not they have already had some experience being intimate whether that is kissing or sex. Point is, most girls have already passed second base before.
So don’t make it such a big deal in your head. As long as there’s sexual tension and attraction a.k.a. you’re not in the friend zone or have nasty breath, it’s really difficult to get rejected when you go in for the kiss.
If you have sexual tension/attraction, the only reason she rejects your kiss is a) to play hard to get or b) the situation/environment is not right.
In either case, as long as you don’t get flustered and you’re smooth about it, you’ll be in good shape. You did NOT blow it and you will still be able to kiss her later on.
Kiss Tests – How Do You Know It’s Time To Kiss Her?
Notice major signs of attractions:
- She initiates conversation when you stop talking
- She giggles and laughs even when you are not being funny
- She touches you
- She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you
- Triangular gaze – she looks at one eye to the other and then down to your lips
- She lets you hold her hand and interlock fingers
- When you squeeze her hand, she squeezes back
- She maintains strong eye contact with you and plays with her hair
How To Go For The Kiss?
Create Sexual tension and Closing the Distance
The key to creating sexual tension is to slow down and smooth out. In other words, introduce… pauses… into… your… conversation, and change the way you look at her (look at her like you’re trying to kiss her i.e. look at her lips then look up at her eyes in a deeper way)
As you’re doing all this, start closing the distance between the two of you.
- If she looks uncomfortable when you slow down, smooth out, pause + eye contact then go back to your normal pace. No harm done. You just need to build more attraction.
- If she looks comfortable with all that then keep doing those things and start closing the distance between you too. If she’s talking let her keep talking until you’re really close to her…right before you kiss her.
No need to lunge in for the kiss or say some cheesy line. This is the best and most rejection proof kiss test and kiss close out there.
Why? Because you’re not doing anything really “out there.” You’re not saying “do you want to kiss me?” or some other routine.
You’re just increasing the sexual tension by slowing down, smoothing out, and introducing pauses in your conversation coupled with a deeper eye contact.
All of these steps are individual kiss tests and are extremely small and subtle so you can stop and go “back to normal” at any time, rejection free.
Different girls require different sex closes. Some are DTF in the bathroom. Others want it to seem like it just happened. Others require a little bit of more persuading.
There are girls who are just ready to go. They are promiscuous, bold, and love sex. These girls love to party, are incredibly sassy, and wild. They are looking for someone who can satisfy their sexual needs. To close these types of girls, you need to be very dominant, escalate physically smoothly, and get sexual quick. When its time to go, you simply need to lead them out of the club. “Grab your stuff, let’s get out of here!”
In Between Girls
The next type of girl is the in between girl. They aren’t DTF, but they aren’t prudish either. They like sex and have even had same-night sex a couple times before, but it is not something they do normally.
First these girls need to feel a strong connection in order to want to sleep with you. They are not just after the sex.
Second, these girls do not want to come off as sluts, especially to her friends and peers.
The way to get a same night close with these girls is to make it seem like “it just happened”.
Don’t get me wrong. This has nothing to do with manipulating her or anything. Although she doesn’t do it routinely, In between girls are ok with the “just this once” encounter.
She just won’t blatantly go with you to your house to have sex.
So when you are at the club and the feeling is right, do the same thing as before and lead her. “Let’s go someplace more quiet.”
As you leave, keep talking so that she is distracted. You have to keep her logical mind occupied. Emotionally, she probably wants to go, but logically she will talk herself out of it. By talking, she will just go with it and follow your lead.
When you get to your house say something that would require going in. “Hey I want to show you those baby pictures that I was telling you about.”
If she objects, say “You can’t stay for long, because I have work in the morning and I have to get up early.”
***If she says she doesn’t want to go verbally, but continues to follow your lead then its fine, but if she clearly and physically resists then stop what you are doing immediately. You will know when she is being playful and when she is serious. But in general play it safe and respect her boundaries because you don’t want to get booked for rape.
After you guys go in, give her a tour of your place and let her over to the living room or bedroom and let her sit down and chill out for a bit. This creates trust because she will know that you have some self-control.
Get some drinks and the photo album in this case, and sit down next to her. Have some light conversation for a bit. Then slow down and smooth out and kiss her. Slowly escalate and the rest is history…
There are some girls, probably will meet more of these types during the day time because they won’t really frequent at the clubs, who are closed off to the fact of sleeping with a man during the first encounter or several encounter if that.
They are nice girls, some virgins, and really crave for connection and trust.
For these girls, just focus on building a deep connection by spending time, sharing yourself and learning about her when you meet her.
When the connection and trust is built, she will want to have sex with you. Just escalate slowly and take her.
Recap And A Couple More Pointers On Closing
In general, most girls don’t want to come off too easy, but love the idea of being swept off her feet. One of the biggest things is that women worry what their friends are going to think so make it serendipitous, so she can tell her friends that “it just happened.”
If you don’t close on the first encounter, then meet up with her in the evening instead of during the day. Reason being, the night has a stronger sexual tone than meeting up in the day. Go to a place that closes early and make an excuse to bring her back to your place. “I want to show you an old photo album, I want to show you where I live, I want to show you my parrot that swears when you walk in, etc.
Always practice safe sex. Carry around and use a condom every time. Seriously, there are way too many nasty things out there that could jump on your jock if you don’t.
Section 10: Follow Up
There are two senses to the term follow up. One is what you do after you get her number or Facebook request and what you need to do so your girl won’t flake.
Your goals for following up through phone, text and Facebook The purpose of these follow up strategies is to re-spark/maintain attraction and move as quickly as possible to a physical meetup. Do not get stuck in the follow up for too long or the spark may dry out.
Read the bonus eBooks I’ve provided to you about Text and Phone game/Facebook setup for more info.
The other sense of the word follow up is really just maintaining an exciting ongoing relationship. How do you keep things exciting? How do you keep things going?
To keep things going is a balance of being curious about her, being appreciative of her, finding out more about her desires, perspectives, and nuances WHILE keeping up the push and pull, teasing, humor techniques for creating sexual tension.
You also want to have shared experiences with her. This is why living a progressive ambitious lifestyle is so great. If you have the means to travel anywhere you want, eat anything you want, do anything you want when you want and bring your girl with you…now that’s a life to be envious of.
But let’s say you don’t have all that money to do that right now. That’s okay. Do what you can to have great experiences together. Try to do a Living Social together every week.
In general, be spontaneous and appreciative. Tell her you appreciate her. Be sweet to her. But don’t forget to bust her balls as well. It’s a balance that you will learn to keep, as you get more experienced.
This is how you not only how you maintain a fun relationship, but how you make her love you.
And who knows, you just might end up falling in love with her to. Let me know if you do cause I love to hear stories like that.
But look, be curious about her life. Be progressive in your own life. Better yourself. Keep living better and better. Have shared experiences together. Sprinkle your humor, push pull, and attraction techniques into this mix and you’re going to be smooth sailing.
Conclusion and Author’s Note
You now have in your head a proven approach to attracting the women you want into your life; from mindset to attraction to building connection to closing. I know that you might be feeling overwhelmed with the amount of information you now have. This is normal. I also know that if you have only read through the material once then you will have forgotten most of it already. This is normal too.
It is good because you have a complete sense of the “GTG” (Get The Girl) approach. Now you need to go master each step one by one until you develop a smooth game that gets you consistent results.
As you master each step you will experience greater success so it’s not like you have to be a master of all the steps in order to see any success.
Right now go back to the beginning of the guide, read the first section and do the exercise noted.
The best way to release information congestion is to take action. On the note of action – remember you don’t know how to bake a cake until you bake the damn cake. I don’t care how many recipe instructions you’ve read. Think about it.
Of course there are always ways to further elevate your game so don’t stop learning. However I recommend that you start out doing the exercises listed in this book and getting good at the skills in this book first.
Now get out there. Seize the day. Get the girl.