Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
“I’ve heard this tragic story far too many times…”
You can feel this excruciating moment coming on from a mile away.
The conversation with this cute girl started off great. She’s smiling,
laughing, clearly becoming more interested and more attracted as
you continue.
Then…it happens.
Call it a brain fart, a blank mind, a loss for words.The only thing that matters is, it brings the conversation to a complete hault and you can feel her attraction levels for you dropping faster than a drunk girl in stilletos.
“So, how about this weather huh?”
So what can you do to pull the conversational nose-dive back into the high flying interaction it was?
First of all, don’t plan ahead too much…
While it might be time to plan in advance what you’re going to say if an awkward silence occurs, this could also
end up making the interaction even more awkward.
However, there are a few things which you can say during an awkward silence that will always be appropriate for the circumstance.
Here are a few of them to have ready for those awkward moments:
1. ”Ever wonder what makes an awkward silence so awkward?”
When you think about it, this is actually a really unique question and one which you could probably build
an interesting conversation around.
This is also a topic which might give you the opportunity to learn something about her personality.
“You know how you can really tell that you KNOW someone?” -wait for her to answer- “When the silences become comfortable between you. Have you ever noticed that?”
This again will give you an opportunity to learn more about her and will probably spark an interesting
conversation. Using these kinds of techniques will also make the silences less intimidating. This is because,
most things which seem uncomfortable are less uncomfortable once someone points them out.
This is true with awkward silences as it is with anything else uncomfortable between two people. By making
the uncomfortable silence a part of the conversation, you automatically make it less threatening.
TIP: Start asking these questions with people who you know and get a few viewpoints that you can share
when you’re with a new girl.
2. Get her to do the talking
We are pretty fortunate as men in that women like to talk. So if you play your cards right, you really don’t have to
do much of the work in a conversation. All you have to do is know how to ask the right questions and is to be a
good listener.
The better listener you are and the more interested you are in what she has to say, the more comfortable she
will be talking to you. In fact, if you have her comfortable enough you’ll probably have a surplus of
conversation instead of awkward silences.
The key is knowing how to prepare your questions according to what she is talking about. If she’s telling
you about something she likes, ask her about why she likes it. If it’s something she doesn’t like, ask her
about why she doesn’t like it.
Asking “why” questions really help you to get to a root of a person’s character and understand them at a deeper
level. The more you do this, the more things she’ll say which will help you to think of other questions to ask
her.
Of course, it’s also important that you don’t make the common male mistake and give her generic one word answers.
If she asks you a question, don’t be afraid to open up to her and give her a good solid and detailed answer. You actually want to do this so you are still contributing value to the conversation.
Usually, the more open you are with someone, the more open they are going to be with you, and the freer conversation is going to flow.
Once you get the hang of this, it’s going to transform the way you approach and interact with women you meet.
Vance