How To Overcome Approach Anxiety – Squashing That Damn Inner Demon
By Vance Lau
The title of this post is quite obnoxious actually. Sorry about that haha. Just trying to be creative.
But listen, in this short post we’re going to talk about how to overcome approach anxiety.
I’m going to give you some mental frameworks to help you work with your approach anxiety and hopefully not have it hold you back from ever getting results.
Let’s get started.
So what is it about approaching women that gets us so damn nervous?
Do we get nervous about approaching ordinary looking girls? Usually no.
Do we get nervous about approaching guys to ask a question? No.
But we would probably feel anxious if we had to approach a big time boss of the company we want to work with.
We get nervous and anxious when we feel like there’s a possibility of rejection and the pain associated with that.
What we need to realize is that rejection is NOT toward us.
We also need to realize that beautiful women and approaching beautiful women are NOT the big deals we think they are.
How To Overcome Approach Anxiety – Remember…Rejection Is Not Toward Us
First remember that women reject our APPROACHES and NOT our actual being. I mean after all, how could they reject something they know nothing about.
Think about it this way. Imagine if you were a billionaire and a really good guy with great values who lives a fantastic and awesome life.
You own private jets, fly across the world, have penthouses all over, get invited to the best parties BUT you’re shy and your approach with women is terrible. When you approach them, you’re body language is weak, you’re tonality is weak, and your opener is something generic (weak) like a “Hey how are you?”
Chances are you will be rejected. So let’s break it down. What was being rejected?
YOU or your APPROACH? It’s your approach.
The woman knows NOTHING about you and your billions of dollars and amazing lifestyle. They only know your approach and this is what they are rejecting.
How To Overcome Approach Anxiety – Remind Yourself…It’s Not A BIG Deal
If I told you to go tell that beautiful girl you always see at the convenience store that she just won $5,000 dollars would you be afraid?
I got news for you my friend, the value you are going to give her in terms of happiness, excitement, great sex, awesome experiences, etc, etc. is worth WAY more than $5,000 so stop being afraid.
If you don’t believe what you have to offer her is worth more than $5,000 then we got a problem. The truth is, what you have offer IS worth way more than $5,000 but if you don’t have the confidence to believe that then you probably won’t have the confidence to actually give her that value.
Confidence starts first with belief. You don’t need results to have confidence. You can have confidence purely by believing. So believe in yourself. “Fake it till you make it.”
Ok enough pep talk.
One Other Note
We are creatures of habit. And you can actually develop the habit of overcoming approach anxiety. Make it a game. Every time you feel approach anxiety and you overcome it you win one time.
Every time you go through the process of overcoming the anxiety you are building and strengthening a neuro-pathway in your brain.
Eventually the neuro-pathway in your brain will be so solid, overcoming approach anxiety will be relatively easy to do.
In the end though…approach anxiety is an inner demon thing. Squash the pest and don’t think twice about it!
These mental frameworks and tricks really will work but bottom line is YOU need to go through the inevitable pain period. You need to make the damn decision to embrace possible rejection and relish the experience.
You need to be able to tell that little sissy side of you to go into a corner on time out.
I still feel nervous myself but because of my conditioned habit of overcoming the nervousness and approaching anyways, I am able to overcome more easily.